Ooey, Gooey Mushy Feelings

As I lie here beside my 12 year old daughter, I can still see glimpses of the sweet baby girl she once was. I can picture her toothless grin as she lifted her head up, then her head falling back down because it was a lot of effort. I remember her pink ladybug sleeper and sweet baby smells. How she coo'ed in happiness when she saw my face. These memories always spring up when we're having a rough time. I'm able to remember the sweet times to get through the hard times.

But I don't have those, as my friend refers to them, ooey, gooey mushy memories of Peter. I can't conjure up what it felt like to feel his first kick in my stomach. I wasn't there for the first smile, first mama, first step. When he's belligerent, I have no rush of memories of sweet baby moments shared to get through the hard times.

What I do have is an image of what his early years were probably like. A sweet little one looking for his mama and she was no longer there. A little boy wanting to be hugged but just barely having his basic needs met. A little one who learned to never show emotion because it didn't matter. A broken, lost baby. No one to cheer him on because he took his first step. No one to cuddle him in bed when he cried. No one who laughed in delight over him. No one who adored him just because he was born.

So when he's belligerent towards us, these are the images that come up. Years of this. Ten years of not trusting anyone or having love. Ten years of just trying to survive. And my heart breaks. Ooey, gooey mushy feelings overwhelm me for this child who can finally be a child. This child who is so brave. This child who is learning about True Love for the first time in his life. This child who now has  a family who simply adores him because he was born.

There are children all over this world still experiencing this. Probably some in your own neighborhood. We're all called to care for the orphans. How does this look in your life? Is it fostering? Is it sending money to Operation Smile to help children have corrctive cleft surgery?  Is going on a mission trip to love on these sweet ones for a week to show them True Love? Is it supporting the local adoptive parents in your area? Nothing is to small.