Mommy's Heart

If you are a parent, you will know what I am writing about. If you are a mom, you will feel it in your gut. ;-) A mommy's heart hurts badly when her kids hurt. Even if the child has hurt you or disappointed you, you still hurt for them. It's part of the mommy-ness. It's especially hard when you cannot fix the hurt and/or know you do not need to fix the hurt because it will help the child grow or learn a lesson that God wants them to learn. Or they're an adult child. But that's a whole 'nother post!

It's very hard to be a kid and make friends. It's really hard to be a 10 yr. old Chinese boy trying to make friends in America. It's a blessing that we have incredible friends who have incredible kids but it's still hard. Peter had been looking very forward to something, actually twice, and was so sad and disappointed over the results. It was no ones fault but it hurt him so it hurt me. And because he is not sure how to process his emotions yet, he acted out. I tried to be considerate of this but I also cannot let him act this way. Yesterday was a very emotionally charged afternoon. When he acts this way, Abi takes it very personally, even if he is doing nothing to her, and tries to help. Peter does not want her help so she also gets hurt in the process. To say that this mom was a bit overwrought  by 4:00 yesterday is an understatement.

Yet God was still there. In the midst, I saw Him. I saw a big brother step up and play with him without being asked. I saw a big brother making sure that he was included even though he doesn't understand his new brother at times. I saw a husband step up and let me sit silently in the car and then listened when I was ready. I saw a big/same age sister still laughing at Peter as she watched him out of the corner of her eye. I saw this same sister helping him outside later with a swing. I had a friend be the arms of Jesus and hug me, even when she had no idea what was going on. This same friend made a delicious dinner and their family made me laugh often. I saw her boys make Peter feel welcome and having fun with him. I had another friend assure me that this will pass and he will be going out with friends before we know it. I saw two my kids cuddle up with their dog and bury their head in her because she offers comfort and no words. Sometimes we all need that, don't we?

God is still God, even in the midst of our struggles. We may have to look for Him but He's there. We have to look past the behavior at times in our new children (and our bio kids!)  and see what God sees; a broken, confused, lost lamb that is trying but fails. I know that's what God sees when He looks at me. And I hope that I can react to Peter (and our other children) just as Christ reacts to me; to pick them up gently, brush off the dirt and assure them in a loving voice that I am still here and I still love them, regardless of the behavior. Then help them to learn to to want to change that behavior in a positive way. Because that's what Christ does for all of us.

*A funny from Peter: Last night he was finally able to ride a 4-wheeler. He has wanted to ride one of these since the moment he saw one on the way home from Dallas. He was telling me about it last night and declared his bicycle is not cool anymore so he needs a 4-wheeler. Ha!